I hope you’re doing well. I’ve been getting the emails every day now, sometimes twice. I tried the junk mail folder, but somehow, you’ve made it back to my inbox.
So it’s time to unsubscribe, but you’ve left me in a bit of a predicament.
See, I know for a fact that you’re lying to me. Because at the bottom of the email that is sitting here in my inbox, the email that I never should have received because I never actively opted in to get messages about all the stuff I can give you money for, at the bottom of that email is a button.
And that button says “Unsubscribe”.
But I’ve clicked buttons like those before. Oh, I’ve clicked a literal, metric, crapload of those stupid, little buttons.
Only to be brought to a page asking me to do something other than click another button to confirm that I want to unsubscribe. No, that would be too easy for me to do, to actively opt-out of your marketing messages with the tap of a button.
Instead, I have to edit my notification preferences by signing in.
That’s right. I’m so angry about this that I can’t even use real words to describe it.
Instead, I have to use a bunch of emojis and whatnot.
Because having the gall to make me do something other than press a button is so ludicrous that, were I a real-rather-than-pretend British man from the 1940’s, I am literally begging your pardon.
Here’s the deal.
You put the unsubscribe button at the bottom of the newsletter. Go ahead, make me scroll all the way through the whole thing. I’m not reading it anyway. I’m just looking for that button. I am willing to go all the way down there to the bottom of everything to get to that button.
When I press that button, there better be three things waiting for me:
- The words, “By confirming, you are unsubscribing”
- A pre-populated text field containing my email address
- A button right below it that says, “Confirm”
And that’s it. That is literally all I am asking for. That is the easiest page in the world to code. Here, I can barely write code anymore but I’ll do it for you:
<h1>By confirming, you are unsubscribing</h1>
<input type="text or the person's email address or whatever"
And that’s it. That’s all you have to do, basically. I mean, the backend for your site might have a lot going on, but seriously, I just gave you the front end code. That’s all you need.
So please, for the love of all that is good and lovely, don’t make me sign into an account that I never use just to unsubscribe from your stupid newsletter?