She’s sometimes a princess or a puffin or the perfect imitator of her mother. Pink and flowers and her turquoise blanket. She tells silly stories and she says ridiculous things like “Whatever her name is…” Or “God wrote the Bible with a marker pen”. She’s learning to read and she loves it.
She could not possibly have been born on a better day.
The thing about a miscarriage is that when it happens your world kind of falls apart. We spent a week crying and praying and holding onto the hope and knowledge that even though our unborn child was conceived a sinner, the work of Christ and the Holy Spirit can regenerate a heart that is incapable of turning away from sin and toward Jesus. We have this hope because it happened to us at our conversions.
We were just as incapable of repenting of our sin as our unborn son, Levi.
But the good news is that it wasn’t our work or our decision to trust in Jesus as our savior and Lord. That we were able to turn from sin is grace. That our hearts were able to feel the depth of our sin and the desperation of our state is grace. All of these things are only ever the work of God.
While we mourned and cried and were filled with sorrow, we were able to avoid despair and anger toward God only by the grace of God. Because we were given the knowledge that we worship a sovereign God. Because Romans 8:28 and Job 1:20-21.
Verses like that only feel cliche until they are put to use within you.